Discussion:
Tuesday With Little Spain / a poem by Will Dockery
(too old to reply)
Will Dockery
2017-08-28 00:34:02 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Tuesday With Little Spain

And I am shoved back into this night life.
Well, she said, she said, she said it was impossible.

There is a place, it smoulders, it is the past, dreamtime,
wander these dark corridors of memory.
I sleep so deep, I don't like to sleep,
my dreams threaten to take me away.

Floating in a sea of bad vibes, I do these things over and over,
repentatively, feel regret but keep doing it over and over.
Then the whole thing becomes a blur.

Grey and pasted, patched together with spackling
and sheet rock mud, a disgusted perversion of humanity.
During the decline and fall of poetry, in the summer of sardonic excess,
I sat with Little Spain on her steps, and felt her softness.

Still a sky poet, though tattered and glowing,
brought down from Blue Territory, no longer in Blue Territory.
I wandered by a cold river in the flaming copper land of summer.

This complete process of remaking we had, your mix of pales and shades,
your, distinctive, mythic self, one distinct sing of your eyes...
I must bitterly understand our fate, we were never meant to be,
Like lost in the mirrored rooms of a crazy house.

Crimson on the napkins,
pink fuzz on the clover.
Maneuver to the left, and forward,
into a mud soaked future.

-Will Dockery

===========================================================

Note: Repentatively is not a typo or misspelled word, it means "to feel regret but to keep doing something over and over."

:)
Will Dockery
2017-08-28 22:06:19 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
I have no idea what that has to do with my post,
but I'm sure somebody out there appreciates it
much more than I do, so thanks for commenting.
Because your poem is titled "Eclipsed."
Regardless of the content, you posted it today because the title makes it sound current.
In light of which, Will's comment is appropriate ... and more interesting than a comment on your poem's message would have been.
I mean, Cheese, Corey! Do you think saying that "the KKK is bad" warrants any discussion?
Stopwatch / a poem by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/VSBeH8LJbsk/0aUvMt2sBgAJ
=================================================
I'm watching the local news talking about the eclipse.
Eclipse this; eclipse that. Eclipse. Eclipse. Eclipse.
Yes, I caught a glimmer of that, earlier today.
Mostly cloudy down in these parts though...
=====================================================
Ah! poetic justice.
Just a touch on the whiny, hypocritical side today, isn't he?
He's in full-blown troll mode. Must be that time of the month.
Wow, sexist much? Speaking of trolls.
How dare you? I haven't got a sexist bone in my body. It just so happens that I'm a misogynist.
Plus, Corey isn't even female.
I knew a Cory in college -- *she* designed one of the covers for our art & literary magazine.
Oh, okay, then Brooke was probably confused and thought Corey's a girl, I reckon... please, no Max Klinger or Doo-Nanny references.
:)
I was addressing Michael
Yet now you claim:

"Who the comment was directed at makes no difference at all..."

So, make you your mind, okay?

:)
Will Dockery
2017-08-30 23:39:11 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Pendragon, some of the explanation for the more obscure sections of this poem, here, where it can be found.
It probably happened on a Tuesday, which was "Poetry Night" back in those days for several years, about 1995-98... and "Blue Territory" is a subtle reference to a poem one of my girl friends of the era wrote to me, that stuck...
Art Lesson.
Picasso me
do me in blue
do me from scratch
mix me up and
shake me up and
splash me
on to the canvas
my canvas is bare
so paint me
create me
make me
transform me
or peel me and stick me
and wear me like a tattoo
if i'm on your skin
i can't get under it
hang me in your gallery
of masterpieces
just another piece
in your collection
-Lisa Scarboro (c)2002
http://www.angelfire.com/al2/queenjane/index2.html
Michael Pendragon, what "Blue Territory" refers to... as I stated, it /is/ obscure, but "Little Spain" sure got the message.
There's more, but that should do for now.
:)
Thanks, Will.
I remember the "Picasso" poem from a reposting sometime ago. I've never cared much for the artist, but the poem is rather good.
And... with your permission, I'd like to import your comments on this poem from the SS thread to here, and respond to your other points ere, where they can be more easily located?
Of course, you're welcome to my comments ... but I don't see how they'd be of any value?
Rather than reposting my criticism that your poem refers to things that are too obscure/personal for the majority of readers to pick up on, you'd do better to provide a set of footnotes to the poem.
I remember a reference you made to Tommy James and the Shondells, for example, but not how it related to the poem.
But the annotated version would be a bit too "T.S. Eliot", right?
A poem is like a joke, if the audience doesn't get it, it really is the fault of the creator, not the audience.
This is something I've learned in 20 more years of live performance.
Sitting down by yourself and reading a few pages of a poetry collection is a vastly different experience from sitting in a bar with a group of friends and sort of listening to a bar band while hitting on the ladies seated on some nearby stools.
Annotated poetry was quite common in the 19th and early 20th centuries -- especially when the poem mentioned something that wouldn't have been common knowledge to the average reader. I'm guessing your beat/po-mo poets gave up the practice, as they (and their audiences) tend to equate obscurity with elitist education.
I'm not saying that you need to go all T.S. Eliot, but if you're going to use a private reference (twice) to an unpublished poem by an unknown poetess (who you only "identify" by a private nickname), you're going to have to make sure that your readers have some inkling of what you're talking about.
"'Little Spain' was the nickname of a local poetess I hung out with at Parnello's in the 1990s. She'd written me a love poem, 'Picasso,' which we referred to as "Blue Territory" partially in reference to Picasso's famous 'Blue Period.'"
I'm kind of liking this approach...
i***@gmail.com
2017-08-31 22:34:03 UTC
Permalink
Raw Message
Post by Will Dockery
Tuesday With Little Spain
And I am shoved back into this night life.
Well, she said, she said, she said it was impossible.
There is a place, it smoulders, it is the past, dreamtime,
wander these dark corridors of memory.
I sleep so deep, I don't like to sleep,
my dreams threaten to take me away.
Floating in a sea of bad vibes, I do these things over and over,
repentatively, feel regret but keep doing it over and over.
Then the whole thing becomes a blur.
Grey and pasted, patched together with spackling
and sheet rock mud, a disgusted perversion of humanity.
During the decline and fall of poetry, in the summer of sardonic excess,
I sat with Little Spain on her steps, and felt her softness.
Still a sky poet, though tattered and glowing,
brought down from Blue Territory, no longer in Blue Territory.
I wandered by a cold river in the flaming copper land of summer.
This complete process of remaking we had, your mix of pales and shades,
your, distinctive, mythic self, one distinct sing of your eyes...
I must bitterly understand our fate, we were never meant to be,
Like lost in the mirrored rooms of a crazy house.
Crimson on the napkins,
pink fuzz on the clover.
Maneuver to the left, and forward,
into a mud soaked future.
-Will Dockery
===========================================================
Note: Repentatively is not a typo or misspelled word, it means "to feel regret but to keep doing something over and over."
:)
Excellent.

Loading...