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"Shambles" / Will Dockery
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Will Dockery
2017-08-15 13:10:03 UTC
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"Shambles"

Yes, the "Richard Pryor"
looking guy
was somewhat interesting
except that he was
so drunk he was drooling.

He either thought I looked
like Mark Twain or Gene Wilder
sitting on the bench
on Broadway at Midnight typing.

He seemed to think
we were from the same
home area
somewhere around Kentucky.

And then he mumbled
something about "North oats"
all along Carolina coasts
where his family
worked on "crab boats".

All these short stories
and his 1970s comedy asides
the out of the side of his mouth
political jabs
and so on
were pretty entertaining.

As I just sat there
and typed
playing the white
straight man type.

Like in Stir Crazy
and Silver Steak
wild Einstein afro hair
flapping in the breeze...

That went okay
for a few minutes
until Pryor
knocked over my coffee.

He seemed to be
embarrassed about that
and wandered away
on up the sidewalk.

Then when a crack hooker chick
in real shambles
came along
offered to blow me
right there
for five bucks.

I decided that
along with the chilly breeze
on my back
perhaps it was time
to pack it up for the night.

I wanted dark
I got dark.

-Will Dockery
Will Dockery
2017-09-01 23:02:14 UTC
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Post by Will Dockery
"Shambles"
Yes, the "Richard Pryor"
looking guy
was somewhat interesting
except that he was
so drunk he was drooling.
He either thought I looked
like Mark Twain or Gene Wilder
sitting on the bench
on Broadway at Midnight typing.
He seemed to think
we were from the same
home area
somewhere around Kentucky.
And then he mumbled
something about "North oats"
all along Carolina coasts
where his family
worked on "crab boats".
All these short stories
and his 1970s comedy asides
the out of the side of his mouth
political jabs
and so on
were pretty entertaining.
As I just sat there
and typed
playing the white
straight man type.
Like in Stir Crazy
and Silver Steak
wild Einstein afro hair
flapping in the breeze...
That went okay
for a few minutes
until Pryor
knocked over my coffee.
He seemed to be
embarrassed about that
and wandered away
on up the sidewalk.
Then when a crack hooker chick
in real shambles
came along
offered to blow me
right there
for five bucks.
I decided that
along with the chilly breeze
on my back
perhaps it was time
to pack it up for the night.
I wanted dark
I got dark.
-Will Dockery
(Revised version, thanks to Drive-By Jimmy for inspiration & feedback)
'Silver Streak'
Not working, for me...why go way off course from the original...adding bits of humor, movie titles...you left 'dark' for light gray..in my humble opinion.
J
What I did was just went back to my original post that the poem came from, and used that...
Hang on, I'll find that original post and put it here for comparison and observation...
BRB.
No that;s ok...it's your call...I just commented
Well, I always take your comments seriously, Jim... always, your honest opinions are worthwhile.
i***@gmail.com
2017-09-02 02:51:13 UTC
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Post by Will Dockery
"Shambles"
Yes, the "Richard Pryor"
looking guy
was somewhat interesting
except that he was
so drunk he was drooling.
He either thought I looked
like Mark Twain or Gene Wilder
sitting on the bench
on Broadway at Midnight typing.
He seemed to think
we were from the same
home area
somewhere around Kentucky.
And then he mumbled
something about "North oats"
all along Carolina coasts
where his family
worked on "crab boats".
All these short stories
and his 1970s comedy asides
the out of the side of his mouth
political jabs
and so on
were pretty entertaining.
As I just sat there
and typed
playing the white
straight man type.
Like in Stir Crazy
and Silver Steak
wild Einstein afro hair
flapping in the breeze...
That went okay
for a few minutes
until Pryor
knocked over my coffee.
He seemed to be
embarrassed about that
and wandered away
on up the sidewalk.
Then when a crack hooker chick
in real shambles
came along
offered to blow me
right there
for five bucks.
I decided that
along with the chilly breeze
on my back
perhaps it was time
to pack it up for the night.
I wanted dark
I got dark.
-Will Dockery
Excellent once again.
Will Dockery
2017-09-05 13:09:59 UTC
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On Friday, September 1, 2017 at 10:51:15 PM UTC-4, ***@gmail.com wrote:

(Posting in rec.arts.poems): https://groups.google.com/d/msg/rec.arts.poems/sbHVJD9g0TU/PqixPNCwCAAJ
Post by i***@gmail.com
Post by Will Dockery
"Shambles"
Yes, the "Richard Pryor"
looking guy
was somewhat interesting
except that he was
so drunk he was drooling.
He either thought I looked
like Mark Twain or Gene Wilder
sitting on the bench
on Broadway at Midnight typing.
He seemed to think
we were from the same
home area
somewhere around Kentucky.
And then he mumbled
something about "North oats"
all along Carolina coasts
where his family
worked on "crab boats".
All these short stories
and his 1970s comedy asides
the out of the side of his mouth
political jabs
and so on
were pretty entertaining.
As I just sat there
and typed
playing the white
straight man type.
Like in Stir Crazy
and Silver Steak
wild Einstein afro hair
flapping in the breeze...
That went okay
for a few minutes
until Pryor
knocked over my coffee.
He seemed to be
embarrassed about that
and wandered away
on up the sidewalk.
Then when a crack hooker chick
in real shambles
came along
offered to blow me
right there
for five bucks.
I decided that
along with the chilly breeze
on my back
perhaps it was time
to pack it up for the night.
I wanted dark
I got dark.
-Will Dockery
Excellent once again.
And thank you (once again) Ilya.

And, again, I invite you to join us at alt.arts.poetry.comments:
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/rec.arts.poems/sbHVJD9g0TU/PqixPNCwCAAJ

:)
Will Dockery
2017-09-28 00:25:31 UTC
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Post by Will Dockery
"Shambles"
Yes, the "Richard Pryor"
looking guy
was somewhat interesting
except that he was
so drunk he was drooling.
He either thought I looked
like Mark Twain or Gene Wilder
sitting on the bench
on Broadway at Midnight typing.
He seemed to think
we were from the same
home area
somewhere around Kentucky.
And then he mumbled
something about "North oats"
all along Carolina coasts
where his family
worked on "crab boats".
All these short stories
and his 1970s comedy asides
the out of the side of his mouth
political jabs
and so on
were pretty entertaining.
As I just sat there
and typed
playing the white
straight man type.
Like in Stir Crazy
and Silver Steak
wild Einstein afro hair
flapping in the breeze...
That went okay
for a few minutes
until Pryor
knocked over my coffee.
He seemed to be
embarrassed about that
and wandered away
on up the sidewalk.
Then when a crack hooker chick
in real shambles
came along
offered to blow me
right there
for five bucks.
I decided that
along with the chilly breeze
on my back
perhaps it was time
to pack it up for the night.
I wanted dark
I got dark.
-Will Dockery
Excellent once again.

------------------------------------------

Thanks again, Ilya.

:)
Will Dockery
2017-10-18 09:58:10 UTC
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Post by i***@gmail.com
Post by Will Dockery
"Shambles"
Yes, the "Richard Pryor"
looking guy
was somewhat interesting
except that he was
so drunk he was drooling.
He either thought I looked
like Mark Twain or Gene Wilder
sitting on the bench
on Broadway at Midnight typing.
He seemed to think
we were from the same
home area
somewhere around Kentucky.
And then he mumbled
something about "North oats"
all along Carolina coasts
where his family
worked on "crab boats".
All these short stories
and his 1970s comedy asides
the out of the side of his mouth
political jabs
and so on
were pretty entertaining.
As I just sat there
and typed
playing the white
straight man type.
Like in Stir Crazy
and Silver Steak
wild Einstein afro hair
flapping in the breeze...
That went okay
for a few minutes
until Pryor
knocked over my coffee.
He seemed to be
embarrassed about that
and wandered away
on up the sidewalk.
Then when a crack hooker chick
in real shambles
came along
offered to blow me
right there
for five bucks.
I decided that
along with the chilly breeze
on my back
perhaps it was time
to pack it up for the night.
I wanted dark
I got dark.
-Will Dockery
Excellent once again.
------------------------------------------
Thanks again, Ilya.
:)
This has been posted already, unless I'm losing my mind

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, this came from rec.arts.poems and became broken away from the main
thread for some reason.

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