Apple Montage / poem by Will Dockery

[Will Dockery]

Apple Montage
I was sneaking around
smoking menthol
among the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
I stood near
as a crowd
watched my father and Uncle.
They were cooking apple butter
stirring the brown gunk
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
Breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn
then to be breathing
the hot misty steam
.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of these trees.
And other trees
behind those trees
past a field.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery
===================================================
I want to work on this one a while more, but that's a first draft
for the Sunday Sampler.

For me, the story is told...almost has a feeling illegality..with
young eyes watching that scene of the crime...I like it as is...more
might destroy that feeling conveyed...but like I said, thats me..
J

Thank you, Jim... you are correct, it does seem complete already.

I once had a delicious piece of Pumpkin Pie...enjoyed it so much, I had
another..lost a bit of spark...after the third piece, I barfed. For me,
poetry can be like that....get the job done, convey the message, leave a
visual..and hit the road...Jack :-)

I once had a delicious Pumpkin Pie ... enjoyed it so much, I had another. I
enjoyed that one every bit as much and wanted a third ... but my mother had
only baked two pies.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I never have cared much for the taste of pumpkin, nor do any of my local
friends from this area... I suspect that pumpkin is a northern thing,
similar to the boiled peanuts here.

[Will Dockery]

Yes, I absolutely believe that your 'critique'
is simply a matter of you trying to 'get even'.

No, my critiques of your gobblegygook poetry is simply that I find it
uninteresting, sloppy and lacking in content.

I did find two of your poems I don't think are garbage, the rest, as Jim
Senetto put it, you should just toss in the waste basket.

And, on that I agree with him... thus, your use of the delete button is a
mercy killing of your stunted verse.

All clear now?

[Will Dockery]

I've critiqued you
for decades.
It's in the Archives.

As my many critiques of your poetry are, Corey.
You know my opinion of your poetry, even the two poems of yours that are
not garbage.
So, we're even.
:)

Returning to a discussion we'd had earlier today (sorry, I don't recall
which thread), this is a perfect example of your "overposting," and how
others react to it.
When you first posted this poem, it met with largely positive reviews.
Some of us made suggestions, and some of them were followed ... or not.
You began obsessing over every suggested change, reposted numerous
revisions, asked for feedback on possible alteration that popped into your
head. And by the time you were ready to post a version of it in the
Sunday Sampler, everyone had grown sick to death of it.
Had you let the thread die out after the first round of
comments/suggestions, made whatever changes you'd decided on offline, and
posted it in the Sampler a week later, it would be fondly remembered by
many of us today. Instead, it produces a collective groan.

When the thread runs its course, it ends... one way you can stop the thread
is to...

Wait for it...

Ignore it.

:)

[Will Dockery]

I've critiqued you
for decades.

Not the legitimate Pendragon style ones though, as per his form he posted
here.

Pendragon, you out there?

:)

[Will Dockery]

When you first posted this poem, it met with largely positive reviews.

Yes, and I appreciate those.

:)

[Lord Penis]

it one of the worst pieces of crap I'd ever read at the time ... but I was still young, innocent, and unexposed to the likes of Ginsberg, Bukowski, and Mina Loy.<

Shalom & Boker tov, Will...predictably, a troll who cannot write, is functionally illiterate, a homophobic celebrator of bigotries -- dismisses three pivotal voices in 20th century logopoeia he has never studied, read, or absorbed.

Oh look it's Picky Dicky talking about 20th century fellatio.

Something he is all too familiar with.

[Will Dockery]

Post by Lord Penis
Oh look it's

Me, your biggest obsession and fantasy?

We know.

:)

[Will Dockery]

Post by Lord Penis
Something
all too familiar

Of course it seems familiar, you're completely obsessed, it seems...

:)

[Will Dockery]

Hello George, I'm on the mobile gizmo right now, so longe quoted responses
are difficult.

On "Apple Montage", I agree, the title just fits.

[Will Dockery]

On Saturday, February 17, 2018 at 9:05:20 PM UTC-5, Chafetz Chayim
As all of us can easily discern, you do it with relish, and Will, in the
several years I have known him, does not.
Except that he just has done it ... three times ... to me, today.
No, I interpreted what I saw you as stating, but not misquoting.

It amounts to the same thing.

I don't see it as the same thing, but since you do I'll respect that,
Michael, and try to be more cautious in my wording in the future, as I
expect you will, as well?

Fair enough?

:)

[Will Dockery]

it one of the worst pieces of crap I'd ever read at the time ... but I was
still young, innocent, and unexposed to the likes of Ginsberg, Bukowski,
and Mina Loy.<

Shalom & Boker tov, Will...predictably, a troll who cannot write, is
functionally illiterate, a homophobic celebrator of bigotries -- dismisses
three pivotal voices in 20th century logopoeia he has never studied, read,
or absorbed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And to top it off, lies about and smears people he's never met, and knows
little about, just to hurt that person's father.

It hardly gets any lower than that.

[Will Dockery]

Two or more self-contained images that create a new (mental) image when
juxtaposed to one another through editing is a montage.

And, again, if you were honest about it, you would know my poem does just
that.

[Will Dockery]

Yes it does, since "Montage" in French simply means "edited images"...

You overthink things, stick too closely to the book, and, as I pointed out
earlier, lack the ability I have to make creative leaps.

Not putting you down, but we are simply two very different people, Pen.

[Will Dockery]

The full quote *in context* speaks for itself.

As does the "Apple Montage" poem.

[Will Dockery]

And a self-contained image is not a montage.

Read the poem again, Pen, there are a SERIES of images.

[Will Dockery]

From the looks of you, it could just be wishful thinking, Pendragon:

https://imgflip.com/i/2fmgo6

:D

[Will Dockery]

Thanks for reading and commenting, everyone, even you, Pen.

:)

[Will Dockery]

This is interesting, the obituary of my uncle, Reverend Clarence Whitley,
from the Daytona Beach Sunday News-Journal - Nov 26, 1980.

https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=bPowAAAAIBAJ&sjid=O-AFAAAAIBAJ&pg=1397%2C5413418

My Uncle, Clarence W. Whitley, was a Methodist minister from the
1950s-1980s, toured Florida as Minister of countless churches down there
(part of the Methodist system is to send the preachers to different churches
every few years, but I don't know all the details), and he was my favorite
Uncle in many ways. And so that goes, my memories of Reverend C. W, Whitley
could fill a volume or two.

I decided it would be earlier, or better, to cover the Baptist beliefs on
Hell, the Methodist view of Hell, the Jewish, and so on, in individual
posts.

Uncle Clarence, who would have no problem with "Rev." as a term of
endearment, is of course also one of the stars of my new "Apple Montage"
poem:

https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/9bWNydZMIjI/QrvAIZj1BAAJ

Apple Montage

Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.

Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.

To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.

There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.

Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.

I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.

I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.

The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.

-Will Dockery

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From the archives.

[Will Dockery]

Apple Montage
I was sneaking around
smoking menthol
among the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
I stood near
as a crowd
watched my father and Uncle.
They were cooking apple butter
stirring the brown gunk
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
Breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn
then to be breathing
the hot misty steam
.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of these trees.
And other trees
behind those trees
past a field.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery

Testing... are these posts showing up on Google Groups?

[Will Dockery]

This is interesting, the obituary of my uncle, Reverend Clarence Whitley,
from the Daytona Beach Sunday News-Journal - Nov 26, 1980.

https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=bPowAAAAIBAJ&sjid=O-AFAAAAIBAJ&pg=1397%2C5413418

My Uncle, Clarence W. Whitley, was a Methodist minister from the
1950s-1980s, toured Florida as Minister of countless churches down there
(part of the Methodist system is to send the preachers to different churches
every few years, but I don't know all the details), and he was my favorite
Uncle in many ways. And so that goes, my memories of Reverend C. W, Whitley
could fill a volume or two.

I decided it would be earlier, or better, to cover the Baptist beliefs on
Hell, the Methodist view of Hell, the Jewish, and so on, in individual
posts.

Uncle Clarence, who would have no problem with "Rev." as a term of
endearment, is of course also one of the stars of my new "Apple Montage"
poem:

https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/9bWNydZMIjI/QrvAIZj1BAAJ

Apple Montage

Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.

Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.

To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.

There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.

Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.

I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.

I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.

The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.

-Will Dockery

...And so it goes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

For Polar to read and critique, if time permits...

[Will Dockery]

Payback is a bitch.

I know, dropping those Karma Bombs all over the carpet.

:)

[Will Dockery]

"Chafetz Chayim benAvraham" wrote in message news:a7482e2d-30e0-4817-8e99-***@googlegroups.com...
As all of us can easily discern, you do it with relish, and Will, in the
several years I have known him, does not. You just don't grasp what the
post-Auschwitz surrealists realised, that one's 'I' is a thought among
thoughts, a receptacle of itself. Mina Loy, in her brilliant 1923
'Anglo-mongrels', speaks > of 'painting _knowing not why_'

------------------------------------------------------

From the archives.

[Will Dockery]

There are many more than just two scenes in the poem, there are many short
quick cuts put together in a montage form.

[Will Dockery]

Two or more self-contained images that create a new (mental) image when
juxtaposed to one another through editing is a montage

Yes, that was the effect I was going for.

[Zod]

Post by Will Dockery

Two or more self-contained images that create a new (mental) image when
juxtaposed to one another through editing is a montage

Yes, that was the effect I was going for.

And parlayed excellently I might add...

***********************************************
Apple Montage

Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.

Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.

To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.

There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.

Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.

I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.

I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.

The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.

-Will Dockery

***************************************

[W.Dockery]

Post by Zod

Post by Will Dockery

Two or more self-contained images that create a new (mental) image when
juxtaposed to one another through editing is a montage

Yes, that was the effect I was going for.

And parlayed excellently I might add...
***********************************************
Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery
***************************************

Thanks for the bump, Zod.

🙂

[Victor H.]

Post by W.Dockery

Post by Zod
***********************************************
Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery
***************************************

Thanks for the bump, Zod.
🙂

Good afternoon to you and you are welcome....

[W.Dockery]

***********************************************

Post by Victor H.

Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery
***************************************

Good afternoon to you

Hello there, my friend.

[General-Zod]

Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery

Another read, quite great.....

[W.Dockery]

Post by General-Zod

Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery

Another read, quite great.....

Thanks again for reading and commenting, Zod.

😏

[W-Dockery]

Post by Zod

Post by Will Dockery

Two or more self-contained images that create a new (mental) image when
juxtaposed to one another through editing is a montage

Yes, that was the effect I was going for.

And parlayed excellently I might add...
***********************************************
Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery
***************************************

Thanks again for the nod, Zod.

[W-Dockery]

Post by Zod

Post by Will Dockery

Two or more self-contained images that create a new (mental) image when
juxtaposed to one another through editing is a montage

Yes, that was the effect I was going for.

And parlayed excellently I might add...
***********************************************
Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery
***************************************

True, that poem has stood the test of time.

🙂

[W-Dockery]

Post by Zod

Post by Will Dockery

Two or more self-contained images that create a new (mental) image when
juxtaposed to one another through editing is a montage

Yes, that was the effect I was going for.

And parlayed excellently I might add...
***********************************************
Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery
********************************

Thanks again for the nod, Zod.

🙂

[Victor H.]

Post by Will Dockery

Two or more self-contained images that create a new (mental) image when
juxtaposed to one another through editing is a montage

Yes, that was the effect I was going for.

Groovy effect man, I was affected...!

[W-Dockery]

Post by Victor H.

Post by Will Dockery

Two or more self-contained images that create a new (mental) image when
juxtaposed to one another through editing is a montage

Yes, that was the effect I was going for.

Groovy effect man, I was affected...!

Thanks again my friend.

[Will Dockery]

Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery

HTH & HAND.
I see the poem.
I don't see the montage

I wonder why since the montage effect is so obvious?

[W.Dockery]

Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery

HTH & HAND.
I see the poem.
I don't see the montage

We never could see eye to eye on that one, could we?

:)

[Rocky Stoneberg]

Post by W.Dockery

Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery

HTH & HAND.
I see the poem.
I don't see the montage

We never could see eye to eye on that one, could we?
:)

Either way, this is an all-time Fave of Doc poetry.....

[W-Dockery]

Post by Rocky Stoneberg

Post by W.Dockery

Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery

HTH & HAND.
I see the poem.
I don't see the montage

We never could see eye to eye on that one, could we?
:)

Either way, this is an all-time Fave of Doc poetry.....

Thanks again for the nod, Rocky.

🙂

[W.Dockery]

Post by Rocky Stoneberg

Post by W.Dockery

Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery

HTH & HAND.
I see the poem.
I don't see the montage

We never could see eye to eye on that one, could we?
:)

Either way, this is an all-time Fave of Doc poetry.....

Good morning my friend, and thanks again for the positive feedback.

🙂

[General-Zod]

Apple Montage
Sneaking around
with Cousin Jenny,
smoking menthol
beyond the sheds.
Late summer vacation 1973
in the backwoods of Tennessee.
To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
There were several
of those trees
and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
and behind them, other trees.
Later, I stood near
as a crowd
watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter;
stirring the brown gunk,
boiling in a huge black kettle.
I saw my father
secretly pass
a wine bottle
to my Uncle Clarence.
I went from
breathing cold mist
out back behind the barn,
to breathing
the hot misty steam.
The air smelled of apple fumes
and strong booze.
-Will Dockery

HTH & HAND.
I see the poem.

Who doesn't....?